There are certain things that we know to be true in life. For example, we know that if we fill up the ice cube trays and put them in the freezer, we will have ice cubes. We know this to be true because we have seen it happen time and time again over the course of our lives. Inherent wisdom has taught us to trust the process of turning water into ice cubes.
The word PROCESS is defined as a series of actions or steps taken in order to achieve a particular end. In the opening example. the steps and the end are very clear. Fill the ice cube tray, place it in freezer and wait 1-2 hours and you have ice. Unfortunately in life, some processes are not so simple. Some processes require multiple steps, can take much longer than 1-2 hours and results may vary or be more difficult to realize than frozen water. This is why it is important in these cases to TRUST THE PROCESS.
When I coach business owners or their employees on the art of trusting the process, I always start with determining the desired end result, or what is commonly referred as the goal. If the goal is to increase sales, I work with the client to implement a plan of action aimed at increasing sales. Over the course of the following 3-6 months, providing that the client implements the plan and trusts the process, the desired results are achieved. In this case, the plan of action made sense to the client which made trusting the process relatively easy and the results, with benchmarks that would show almost immediately, were achieved in a short period of time.
What about processes that are not so easy to understand, with results that are not so easy to see and may take months or years to achieve? Is trusting the process in these cases easy? What if the goal is simply to be happy, or to raise emotionally healthy and well balanced children? Could there really be a process to achieve such results?
The answer is yes. The question is what are you prepared to do to achieve the most important results of your life. Results that break the cycles of negativity that have plagued you and your family for generations. Results that will ensure that you don't pass onto to your children or future children the toxic behaviors and reactions to triggers that have caused you to struggle to find happiness in your life.
Each persons future journey is as unique as the path that has gotten them to this point in their lives. so I cannot begin to describe yours in a blog. I can however help guide you towards your path. The first step, just as it was for that business owner who wanted to increase sales, is to find yourself someone to help guide you towards success. A life coach, a counselor or a therapist are great resources. They will help you put a plan of action in place that will achieve the desired results.
In many cases the journey will not be easy or short. If you have a past with physical or psychological trauma or substance abuse in your family, parents who fought every day or who were emotionally absent from your life, the path may be long and filled with obstacles. There will be truths to realize, secrets to expose and damaged relationships to heal, but once you start down the path, the most important advice I can give you is to TRUST THE PROCESS!!
Trust that replacing negative thoughts with positive ones will make you happier. Trust that learning to control your emotions when triggered will improve your health. Trust that treating others the way you would like to be treated will improve your relationships. Trust that exploring your past will help brighten your future. Trust that forgiving those that have done you wrong will lighten the burden on YOUR shoulders. These are all part of the process. If you trust it, make baby steps every day, let others help pick you up when you fall, forgive yourself when you aren't perfect and never give up even when the days are darkest, YOU WILL, without a shadow of a doubt, make positive changes in your lives and the lives of those around you.
Thursday, 9 January 2014
Friday, 3 January 2014
Positivity Is The Key
Happy New Year everyone, I hope that 2014 brings you everything you dream of and desire...I also hope you continue to read and enjoy my blog...It brings me joy knowing that you accompany me on my journey of continuous improvement and growth, and as long as I see the views continue to rise (up over 1000 now) I will keep writing.
One of the resolutions I made a few years ago, which I am proud to say I continue to follow to this day, is to be aware of the company I keep. If you've read my blog in the past, you will recognize the term Debbie Downer, and you know that I believe that surrounding yourself with positive people in your life will bring positive results...this is why for the most part, I now limit the exposure I have to people in my life that drag me down...the result has been wonderful, not only due to the absence of drama in my life, but it also created a void, which seemingly filled automatically with the type of people that I want to attract...so in essence, as cut throat as it sounds, I traded up...and it happened without a whole lot of effort. The law of attraction states that like attracts like...therefore negative energy attracts negative energy and positive energy attracts positive energy. Simply by limiting my exposure to negative energy, I have seen first hand, the influx of more positivity in my life.
This brings me to a story...During the holidays, I was sitting in the car with my daughter Jordan, when I asked her what her plans were for New Years Eve...the past few years there has been a circle of friends that would gather during special occasions, and I wondered if maybe she would be joining them...she explained to me that she really didn't like hanging out with them anymore. I asked her why, and her response was that a couple of them were starting to be mean to people, and she didn't like it. I asked if they were mean to her, and she said no, just that they were being mean to others and she didn't like hanging out with them anymore. Now I knew this wasn't easy for her, as it kinda meant walking away from the popular crowd, so I asked if she was ok..."Yeah Dad," she replied, "Their loss."
I sat back later that night, thinking about what had happened...For those with daughters reading this blog, I am sure you know just how tough it can be socially as they approach their pre-teen and teenage years. Clicks are formed, friendships are strained and the pressure of growing up is so severe that many of her friends, at the tender age of 12 have turned to self destructive behavior such as cutting themselves and in one case, attempted suicide. So to hear that my little girl is eliminating the negative people in her life, at the age of 12, makes me prouder than I can put into words.
The next day, I wanted to tell her this...it isn't always easy getting the attention of a 12 year old girl...so I try and pick my spots...I figured I needed about 10 minutes...
"Jo...do you have a minute?"
"Yea Dad, just let me update my Instagram account." she replied.
"What Instagram account?", I asked.
"Oh you should follow me Dad...My profile name is INSPIRING_QUOTES54321...I try to inspire others."
Yea, I thought as I smiled...she's gonna be just fine!!
One of the resolutions I made a few years ago, which I am proud to say I continue to follow to this day, is to be aware of the company I keep. If you've read my blog in the past, you will recognize the term Debbie Downer, and you know that I believe that surrounding yourself with positive people in your life will bring positive results...this is why for the most part, I now limit the exposure I have to people in my life that drag me down...the result has been wonderful, not only due to the absence of drama in my life, but it also created a void, which seemingly filled automatically with the type of people that I want to attract...so in essence, as cut throat as it sounds, I traded up...and it happened without a whole lot of effort. The law of attraction states that like attracts like...therefore negative energy attracts negative energy and positive energy attracts positive energy. Simply by limiting my exposure to negative energy, I have seen first hand, the influx of more positivity in my life.
This brings me to a story...During the holidays, I was sitting in the car with my daughter Jordan, when I asked her what her plans were for New Years Eve...the past few years there has been a circle of friends that would gather during special occasions, and I wondered if maybe she would be joining them...she explained to me that she really didn't like hanging out with them anymore. I asked her why, and her response was that a couple of them were starting to be mean to people, and she didn't like it. I asked if they were mean to her, and she said no, just that they were being mean to others and she didn't like hanging out with them anymore. Now I knew this wasn't easy for her, as it kinda meant walking away from the popular crowd, so I asked if she was ok..."Yeah Dad," she replied, "Their loss."
I sat back later that night, thinking about what had happened...For those with daughters reading this blog, I am sure you know just how tough it can be socially as they approach their pre-teen and teenage years. Clicks are formed, friendships are strained and the pressure of growing up is so severe that many of her friends, at the tender age of 12 have turned to self destructive behavior such as cutting themselves and in one case, attempted suicide. So to hear that my little girl is eliminating the negative people in her life, at the age of 12, makes me prouder than I can put into words.
The next day, I wanted to tell her this...it isn't always easy getting the attention of a 12 year old girl...so I try and pick my spots...I figured I needed about 10 minutes...
"Jo...do you have a minute?"
"Yea Dad, just let me update my Instagram account." she replied.
"What Instagram account?", I asked.
"Oh you should follow me Dad...My profile name is INSPIRING_QUOTES54321...I try to inspire others."
Yea, I thought as I smiled...she's gonna be just fine!!
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