"Failure is not an option"...really?

“Damn!!  I really screwed that up!”  or “How could I have been so stupid to make that mistake?”

Sound familiar?  Because there is a really good chance that you have said this or something VERY similar to it the last time you made a mistake.  The truth is that people really do not like making mistakes.  A mistake means that you failed at whatever task you set out to accomplish, and if society has taught us one thing about failure, is that “failure is not an option”.  That phrase can be found on Youtube in the form of video clips, it can be found on Amazon in the form of a book, it can be found on T-Shirts in the form of catch phrases and it can be found driven deep into our psyche as a misguided way to motivate us towards success.   Failure is not an option.

Ask yourself this, if failure is not an option, why is it that it happens every minute of every hour of every day of the year, in every town, city and country on the planet?  The truth is failure is inevitable and mistakes are inevitable, because if they were not, that would mean that we are perfect.  And nobody’s perfect.

I don’t think this is mind blowing stuff here.  I don’t think I am telling you something you don’t already know.  Ask ourselves this though.  If we already know we aren’t perfect, and we already know that we will make mistakes and we already know that failure is a part of our lives, past, present and future, then why do we beat ourselves up so much when it happens?  I will tell you why.  Because we have all been conditioned that failure is not an option, and therefore, failure and mistakes bring along with them, those oh too familiar emotions: anger, sadness, embarrassment and guilt.  Yuck.  Did anyone here order the Failure Special with a side order of guilt or embarrassment?  Did you order the Anger Sundae for dessert?  I didn’t think so.  So why are we choking it all down?

"I have not failed 700 times. I have not failed once. I have succeeded in proving that those 700 ways will not work. When I have eliminated the ways that will not work, I will find the way that will work." –Edison regarding the invention of the light bulb.

Thomas Edison viewed each failure as a success.  He viewed each failure as a learning opportunity.  Now let’s be frank here.  Not many of us have the type of drive, dedication and perseverance to learn 700 times how not to do something, but the truth is many of beat ourselves up after even a single mistake.  Many of us get angry at ourselves, get down on ourselves, listen to that little voice in our head tell us how worthless we are, and then we quit, never to try again.

I was training a class a few weeks ago, and one of my students made a mistake.  I could see instantly how embarrassed and upset at himself he got.  I walked right over to him and put my hand in the air to give him a high 5, and said “Yea, way to go, great job!”  Well, he looked at me, puzzled and asked why I was congratulating him on making a mistake.  I told him it wasn’t a mistake.  I told him it was a learning opportunity, and to take advantage of that learning opportunity and try again.  He did.  And he was successful.  All mistakes are learning opportunities.  All mistakes give us knowledge and bring us one step closer to success.  The only failure, is giving up and never trying again.